5 stages of a hangover that are just too real

Unless you’re super duper lucky or freshly 18, everyone has experienced a few bad hangovers before. As the song goes, girls just wanna have fun, and what’s a better way to have fun than with a cocktail in hand? Whether it’s from a few casual drinks gone wild or the day after a festival, a hangover will usually play out in these 5 stages.

Stage 1: Confusion

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If you’ve ever had a big night with a few too many wines (or shots) you’ll know that the morning after always brings with it a fair few questions. From where am I and where’s my bag, to what did I do and WHY does my head hurt so much!!? And then all too soon reality crashes in and you sit up to see yourself in last night’s dress and your pillow stained with last night’s make up. You’ll then check your phone for any embarrassing texts to the ex, and send the inevitable WHAT HAPPENED LAST NIGHT message to all your girlfriends. Stage 1 is never a fun time.

Stage 2: Shame

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Once the group message has filled you in on every move you made and every outrageous thing you said, Stage 2 of shame sets in. If you’re asking ‘why do I do this to myself?’ and wanting to bury beneath the covers to never be seen again, girl you are not alone. Everyone has made the infamous declaration I AM NEVER DRINKING AGAIN, but honey you will, oh you definitely will. Just remind yourself that nothing you did could ever be THAT bad, today’s a new day so lift your head high and embrace the party animal that you are.

Stage 3: Death

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In the words of Kylie Jenner, Stage 3 is about like, realising stuff. You sit up just to realise that your head is pounding and your stomach is sloshing, you’ve never really felt a pain like this before (well, since last weekend anyway). If there’s one thing you can thank drunk you for, it’s leaving a glass of water by the bed – hallelujah! Now just grab a panadol and head back to bed for some much needed nap time.

Stage 4: Hope

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After a long nap you wake up and for a brief moment you think it’s all over! You’re starting to get hungry, you’re missing a sunny day outside, surely you’re feeling better by now!? Stage 4 is Hope, and unfortunately this feeling doesn’t last long. Before you can even make it to the shower Stage 3 of Death hits you like a tonne of bricks and you’re back where you started. Hang in there girl, you’ll make it through.

Stage 5: Acceptance

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Okay so maybe you got a little ahead of yourself before, Stage 5 is all about accepting the state you’re in. Get comfy and clear your schedule ’cause today is all about allowing yourself a little TLC. Order something with carbs and cheese from Ubereats and pick a rom-com to watch on Netflix so you can chill out and deal with your responsibilities tomorrow.

Check out our two fave shows to binge watch on Netflix here

Written by Nikkila Goulding

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